USA

Iditarod Remains Only Sport Where the Field of Play Includes “Whatever Wants to Kill You Today”

NOME, Alaska — Officials with the Iditarod Trail Sled Dog Race confirmed Thursday that the event remains the only organized sport where the official field of play includes not...

Oklahoma Man Refuses to Spring Forward, Forces Entire Town Into Chronological Chaos

TAHLEQUAH, Okla. — In a stunning act of civil disobedience that experts are calling “the darkest hour of the year,” an Oklahoma man has...

Colorado Ultramarathon Winner Admits He Only Listened To David Goggins Yelling At Him For 14 Straight Hours

SILVER PEAK, Colo. — In a performance sports scientists are calling “medically concerning but technically effective,” ultramarathon runner Kyle Benton stunned competitors last weekend...

Nation’s Men Achieve Enlightenment After Realizing They Can Simply Become a Different Person’s Face

In what sociologists are calling “the most optimistic delusion since cryptocurrency,” thousands of young men across the internet have embraced a new lifestyle movement...

California Squirrels Discover Meat, Declare Nuts ‘Last Season’

Fashion has always borrowed from the animal kingdom. Leopard prints, snakeskin boots, the occasional ethically ambiguous mink shrug. But for the truly forward-thinking dresser, inspiration...

Parents Spend Week Preparing Kids For Daylight Saving Time; Children Respond By Waking Up At 4:58 A.M. Anyway

After a full week of preparation that one parent described as “a mixture of science, ritual sacrifice and blind optimism,” families across the country...

America Embraces Bold New “Two Restaurants, One Identity Crisis” Dining Trend

Seguin, Texas paved the way for gluttonous conglomeration last year when the city became home to the first dual-branded Applebee’s | IHOP restaurant in...