World

Humpgate: When Botox Goes Too Far in the Desert

AL MUSANAA, Oman — In a tale that has sent shockwaves through the camel beauty community, 20 camels were unceremoniously booted from the 2026 Camel Beauty Show Festival for hump...

U.S. Announces Plan to Bring Order to Venezuelan Jungle by Introducing Mining Executives

CARACAS — In a bold new foreign-policy initiative, U.S. officials announced plans this week to stabilize Venezuela’s notoriously lawless southern jungle by introducing what...

Greeks, Persians to Redo Battle of Thermopylae, Prove Rivalries Will Never Die

NICOSIA, Cyprus — In a move experts are calling “historically inevitable,” Greek F-16 fighter jets have arrived in Cyprus to assist in defense against Iranian...

ChatGPT: Now Officially an “Accomplice” in Crime (Because Why Not?)

In what will surely be this year’s most unproductive use of artificial intelligence, a 21‑year‑old woman in Seoul, South Korea apparently decided that not only could...

China Accidentally Digs Up Entire Fantasy Economy, Promises Not to Turn It Into Giant Golden Dragon (Probably)

BEIJING — In what officials are calling “a moderately shiny Tuesday,” China announced it has uncovered a gold deposit so enormous that economists briefly...