ORLANDO, Florida — Police arrested a Florida man this week after discovering a raccoon-run theft operation that officials describe as “efficient, deeply unsettling and frankly a little humiliating for law enforcement.”
The suspect, 34-year-old Derek Mullins, is accused of training a network of raccoons to systematically steal Amazon packages from nearby homes and deliver them to his property, referred to in handwritten notes as “The Facility.”
Authorities say the operation had been active for months before anyone realized the animals weren’t just scavenging — they were side-hustling beasts.
“This wasn’t chaos,” said Senior Officer Carla Ruiz. “This was structure. There were roles. There was discipline. At one point, we’ve ascertained, there was a shift schedule.”
Doorbell footage reviewed by police shows raccoons moving with smooth precision — pausing to scan surroundings, selecting specific packages, and, in many cases, appearing to reject items before quietly moving on. One clip shows a raccoon picking up a box, shaking it and slowly setting it back down, as if disappointed.
“That one haunts me,” Ruiz added.
Neighbors initially dismissed the thefts as random wildlife behavior, until patterns began to emerge. Expensive electronics vanished. Cheap household goods remained untouched. One resident reported locking eyes with a raccoon holding a package.
“It didn’t run,” the resident said. “It just … looked at me with those dark, lifeless eyes.”
Police executed a search warrant early Tuesday morning and discovered dozens of stolen packages, most unopened, stacked in a shed lined with crude diagrams and symbols. In the center of the room sat a whiteboard reading: “PHASE 3: THEY TRUST US.”
Officers also found a training area in the backyard, including obstacle courses, simulated porches and what appeared to be a small bell mounted near a feeding station.
“We rang the bell,” one officer said. “They came. Not fast. Not slow. Just … on time.”
Mullins surrendered without incident but continued to refer to the raccoons as “employees” during questioning.
“They’re not stealing,” Mullins reportedly said. “They’re redistributing. You people don’t understand what’s coming.”
Authorities confirmed that several raccoons remained in the surrounding area following the arrest, though sightings have decreased significantly.
“It’s like they went to ground,” Ruiz said. “Or … somewhere else.”
Amazon declined to comment on the incident, though internal reports have allegedly categorized the case under “coordinated non-human interference.”
Mullins is currently facing multiple charges, including theft and conspiracy. Officials have not ruled out additional charges, pending what one investigator described as “figuring out how much of this was his idea.”
At press time, residents reported finding a single unopened package placed neatly in the middle of a driveway overnight. No footprints. No camera footage. Just a note taped to the box: “Wrong address.”
