In a move that finally answers the question “what can’t you buy at Costco?”, the warehouse retailer has launched a program offering members steep discounts on fertility drugs.
Yes — alongside rotisserie chickens and 64-packs of muffins, you can now pick up the chance to create life.
The program connects members with telehealth consultations and fertility specialists, while Costco pharmacies provide IVF medications at dramatically reduced prices. The goal: make treatments that can cost thousands of dollars slightly less financially devastating.
And in classic Costco fashion, it’s all about volume.
“Why spend $15,000 making one baby,” said one imaginary executive, “when you could emotionally prepare for twins and save 30%?”
Members report the process is simple:
- Flash membership card
- Accept free sample of prenatal vitamins
- Contemplate the future of your genetic lineage next to a pallet of croissants
- Spend $480 you didn’t plan on
Some shoppers say the experience feels surreal.
“I came in for paper towels,” said one customer. “Now I’m pricing IVF next to a 12-foot skeleton and a kayak.”
Sources say Costco is already planning additional family-related services, including:
- “Baby Registry Forklift Service” — Load an entire nursery directly into your SUV.
- Family Planning Food Court Combo — IVF consultation + churro.
- “Executive Membership: Multiples Edition” — guaranteed twins or 2% cash back.
Healthcare experts say the program highlights a troubling reality: fertility treatment has become so expensive that a warehouse club might be the most affordable way to access it.
Still, Costco insists it’s just meeting customer demand.
Because if there’s one thing Americans love, it’s starting a family … and doing it with a membership discount.
